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I Will Define

by I Will Define

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1.
Sorrows 02:22
I dwell on my past so I know where to go For where is the future without memories to show? As time passes by, some wounds just won't heal But I've tasted the poison, why not finish the meal? Like when you try to move forward, But there's that kink in your mind, That screams one step closer is ten steps behind. And we're back where we started, Chained to the weight of regret, remorse, self-pity, and hate. Trust me I know, and I've carved it in stone. On a brick in the back of my mind I call home. Where the building is strong, and the yard is at peace. And it's hard to spot flaws from the edge of the street. But if you hurdle the fence, and walk through the door, And climb down the stairs leading under the floor. Where a father abused you, where a girl once amused you, Where the only person you trusted used you. A basement of memories, all locked in my head If I don't dwell on my past I'm better off dead.
2.
Hollow 04:28
My soul it burns, my head it churns, my heart unnerves, But my body, it learns. It learns to love when I hate. It learns to dissolve all the feelings my mind can create. Just like the rest of the world, I'll leave a sense of wonder to minds. Keep myself behind closed blinds, and leave my thoughts for none to find. I'll wear this mask today, I'll wear this mask tomorrow. I'll hide my past before it brings such sorrow. To myself, more than it could for my peers. But I'll appear to be at ease, and dig my skin, and grind my teeth. Because it's easier to deal with yourself, when you live your life as Someone else. But this role I play, this face I wear, though someone else without one care. It's just another display of myself, That's formed a conscience all by itself. This hollow body that carves away at my thoughts, that keeps the structure of my life in knots. Today, tomorrow, I'll play this harp of bliss. And I'll play these songs of forgiveness. For when I see you, and you see me, I see shades of gray, but all you'll see is vibrant colors of dishonesty. To think, there he is, he let it out, but I promise you without a doubt. I'm not what you think, or see, or hear. I'm not this smile you've grown to fear. My eyes are sin, my mouth is lust My face covered with this dirt of trust. I wash away with every memory That wears at my heart like crumbled rust of misery. So I'll sit, and I'll wait, Today, tomorrow, and I'll keep up with this charade that I'm at ease with my heart. Oh, I'll wait for the sirens of youth to sing my name and mend this painting back to it's frame. So my soul will feel at ease with my bone, and I'll wait for the sirens to scream welcome home. My heart is hollow from the way that you're taunting me, why are you haunting me? It's hard for me to swallow down my pride and be who I should be. I hold the key, I hold the key. That unlocks all my hopes and all my dreams. I hold the key, I hold the key. So why do you think you can set me free? So my soul will feel at ease with my bone and I'll wait for the sirens to scream welcome home.
3.
Disdain 03:26
I am the hand of madness. I am the end, I am the beginning, I am the hand of madness. So here I am, strapped to a body and a mind I can't stand. I'm crying out, give me a hand.. How do I brace myself solely on the man I am? How can I be happy with myself? Is there a point? Is there meaning? Everyone's consumed with themselves, we've lost it all because you're fucked in the head. If life was black and white, with better times and far better people. We've lost it all, we've sent this place to hell. So here I stand, strapped to a body and a mind I can't stand. I'm crying out, won't you please, give me a hand? Give me a sign, I need an explanation. Give me some sanity to stand up to these fears that I'm facing. If were stronger than I'd stand with some dignity. But it's harder when you're looking in the face of your enemy. All I feel is hate, just get out of my mind. You say you feel the pain, it's just another lie. Take a second to sink to my level. I hold it in, but it's making me sick. I swear to god I'm releasing a devil. You let it out, and now you have to answer to it. So here I stand, strapped to a body and a mind I can't stand. I'm crying out, won't you please, give me a hand? Give me a sign, I need an explanation. Give me some sanity to stand up to these fears that I'm facing. If were stronger than I'd stand with some dignity. But it's harder when you're looking in the face of your enemy. All I feel is empty, so I'll make this place my home. What is there to care about? When nothing cares for me.
4.
Animosity 03:54
I'm sick of burning coffins just to prove that I'm alive but I can still see the dead every time I close my eyes. How many sick lonely nights carving my name into the paint, until the voices in the walls can convince me that I'm saint? I'm counting down the days until I'm just another grave. Each year another nail as my body wilts away. Like a river that's shallow or a road that is deep. I've climbed to the top but the hills are so steep. Why feel so worthless when you've done what you can? I know I deserve this. I will until the end. I'm not complaining cause I live for these sounds but it's hard to move forward with your eyes to the ground. Sometimes I wonder how long it would be, before someone came looking for me. I swear we're all dead, we've been dead for years. How many bodies can we turn before we notice the tears? How many people can we hurt? Like a river that's shallow or a road that is deep. I've climbed to the top but the hills are so steep. Why feel so worthless when you've done what you can? I know I deserve this. I will until the end. I'm not complaining cause I live for these sounds but it's hard to move forward with your eyes to the ground. I hope your actions leave you in a world of solitude and loneliness. Because what you've left behind is pure dysfunction and heart break. One day you'll feel it in your bones, you are worthless and soon my voice will echo through your dreams. Is this an order? Or is this a plea? How the fuck could you know what is wrong with me? Sometimes I wonder how long it would be before someone came looking for me.
5.
Grievance 04:16
I'll tear out these sheets that we've twisted with time. I'll rip up this mattress that we've stained with our minds. I'll tear down these walls that hold all our secrets. The thought of your face has my head stuck in grievance. Inside my skull, lies a dim lit shed. Where we both chose to make our dim lit bed. Don't worry that little head of yours. I'll tear out these sheets that we've twisted. I'll tear out these sheets that we twisted with time. Cause in your eyes I'm nothing more than what you wanna see. We're not the same, you'll never be like me. And I'm picking up the memories you never gave to me. And I'll try harder to believe I'm better off this way. But don't worry that little head of yours, life goes on if you learn to love regret. And while I'm sinking, you'll fly yourself into the sun. Ashes blowing away with every breath. Don't worry that little head of yours. I'll tear out these sheets that we've twisted. I'll tear out these sheets that we twisted. If there was one last thing, I could drill into your thoughts. Past all the senseless fights we've ever fought. Cause in your eyes I'm nothing more than what you wanna see. We're not the same, you'll never be like me. And I'm picking up the memories you never gave to me. And I'll try harder to believe I'm better off this way. I'm sorry for the person you were. For the person you are. For the person you'll always be. Fuck.
6.
Dread 04:04
We cover our sorrows with one gentle smile, how else could we live if not for denial? I've seen this before, I've walked in those shoes. With a gun in my hand and nothing to lose. A few drinks down my throat, one thought on my mind, how simple it is to leave life behind. And as I sat at the edge of my bed, my left hand the gun, my right hand the lead. A boy walked through the walls in tears, crying to me every one of his fears. Laying in bed in a room with no light. A mother and sister who fight every night. The thought of a father he hopes isn't there, praying to someone who won't seem to care. This is my chance to leave it all behind, I'm at the end I'm running out of time. A few drinks down my throat one thought on my mind. We cover our sorrows with one gentle smile, how else could we live if not for denial? So there I sat at the edge of my bed, my left hand the gun, my right hand the lead. The last thing he said before leaving me be, is "I won't forgive you if you're the death of me." Am I sleeping? Or am I dead? Is my heart beating? Is this the end?

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Sophomore EP of 2014.

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released June 17, 2014

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I Will Define Indianapolis, Indiana

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